


Yer Out!

by delphia2000



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-09
Updated: 2010-06-09
Packaged: 2017-10-10 00:34:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delphia2000/pseuds/delphia2000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short humorous fic about Jack & Daniel confronting Ba'al who has been hiding on Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yer Out!

"Thank you for waiting, Mr. Newman and Mr. Redford. Mr. Gold will see you now," directed the beautiful, and extremely young-looking assistant, indicating the heavy double doors before them.

As Jack and Daniel rose from the comfortable leather sofa where they'd been waiting, Daniel grumbled, "I still liked Starsky and Hutch better."

"Used that one before. Trust me…you don't want to know," Jack informed him and he paused briefly while the assistant opened the doors for them.

He was waiting with his back turned toward them, gazing out through the huge crystal-clear windows that dominated the office. A hazy cityscape spread out below them. Then he turned towards them, flashing that flawless, smarmy smile and greeted them, "General O'Neill, and I see you've brought your pet, Dr. Jackson."

O'Neill scowled. "Cut the crap, Baal. Game time is over. How long did you think you'd be able to hide from us like this? Ever think low-profile?"

Baal strolled over to his desk and seated himself without offering the same courtesy to his guests. They sat anyway in the two chairs before the desk as if ready to broker a deal.

"What makes you think I'm hiding?"

"Perhaps because Anubis is fairly pissed at you, as are the Free Jaffa," Jackson told him.

"Anubis as you well know, Dr. Jackson, is rather busy. Bad news does travel fast. As for the Free Jaffa, they are unlikely to annoy the Tauri by staging a full out attack on the greatest democracy on this planet."

"So, if not us, or Anibus or the Jaffa, then who are you ducking? Your bookie? Ex-wives? Or perhaps the rest of that pitiful group formerly known as the System Lords?" O'Neill sneered.

"It is of no importance to you, human. What is important is that I am now a private citizen of this planet and I have the necessary documentation to prove it."

"Ah yes," Daniel said, "That diplomatic appointment from the Jordanian government. Convenient."

"They adore me," smirked Baal, "Literally."

O'Neill cocked his head slightly as he asked, "And do they know you're just a slimy little parasite and not a God? A freakin' ALIEN?"

"I have no idea what they think. I'm not that kind of God," Baal shrugged. "Since your government has not seen fit to inform all nations about the existence of the Stargate, then, no, it's not likely they have any idea about my origins. They take my word that I have come to bless them with my presence for a time."

Jackson spoke up, "I don't get it. Why are you here and why this line of work? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, calling for Holy Wars and invading small neighboring countries?"

"Don't be provincial, Dr. Jackson. Your civilization frowns upon such primitive behavior. I have studied your culture and conquest through capitalism is far more effective."

"What makes you think we're just going to overlook the fact you're a serial murderer and let you park your butt wherever you please on our planet?" Jack asked.

"Come now, General. What did you have in mind? Arrest me for tax evasion or just make me disappear late one night? I assure you, my books are in order and I still have my personal guard, which you saw on your way in no doubt. However, I've studied your culture and your laws extensively. Besides being a diplomat, with the attendant diplomatic immunity, I'm also a respectable businessman."

"Yeah, I noticed the Jaffa you'd put to work on that football team you purchased too. Nice move. How do you get them past the physicals? And why sports teams?"

"Sports teams make money, General, as well you know. Jordan is a poor country compared to the surrounding countries and I wish only to bring prosperity to my people. Your civilization is all about wealth. Wealth equals power. What else could a God want? Now if you'll excuse me, gentlemen," Baal said, standing up, "I've got a previous engagement."

He leaned over to open a desk drawer, pulling out a ball cap to perch on his head and then took out a baseball to go with it. "I'm about to attend the first game of the baseball team I've purchased and I don't want to be late. I do so love it when they say, 'Play Ba'al!'"


End file.
